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  #1  
Old 01-22-2009, 06:10 PM
Duck Dodgers's Avatar
Duck Dodgers Duck Dodgers is offline
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Location: Somewhere between the Port of Indecision and South of Disorder
Posts: 262
Default For you Dads with Daughters

He's something you Dads might find useful in the future. I fully intend on making use of it.


APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER


NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current
medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________

HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ __

HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Number of years they have been married _____________________________________
If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Do you own a van? _______________
A truck with oversized tires? _______________
A waterbed?_______________
A pickup with a mattress in the back?_______________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring? _______________
A tattoo?_______________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to
you?______________________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Church you attend __________________________________________________ ____
How often you attend __________________________________________________ _
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
__________________________________________________ ___________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
__________________________________________________ ___________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
__________________________________________________ ___________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
__________________________________________________ ___________________
What do you want to do IF you grow up? _____________________________________
__________________________________________________ ___________________
__________________________________________________ ___________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ____________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND
RED HOT
POKERS.

_______________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you
injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkoPo View Post
We all know in the beginning God created the earth and the Heavens. On the second day God created man and Jeep. Man had too much fun so God created woman. Man hasn't had near as much fun since.





Last edited by Duck Dodgers; 01-22-2009 at 06:12 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-22-2009, 07:27 PM
JeepNirvana's Avatar
JeepNirvana JeepNirvana is offline
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Default

You forgot to include the clause:

When picking up my daughter please provide cleaned loaded shotgun which you can retrieve at 9:30 when you bring her back home safely.

:cool_shades:
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  #3  
Old 01-22-2009, 08:27 PM
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wcjp wcjp is offline
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Location: Earth
Posts: 207
Default

Thanks for the list
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06' CTD
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  #4  
Old 02-23-2009, 07:31 PM
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Luke May Luke May is offline
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Location: duvall wa
Posts: 52
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thats good
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  #5  
Old 02-25-2009, 07:13 AM
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zukkev zukkev is offline
Dirt Napper....
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 460
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Hah!!! That's Great!!!
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  #6  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:22 PM
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CreeperSleeper CreeperSleeper is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Newberg, OR
Posts: 21
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Nice! My daughter is expected to enter this world on May 11th... Luckly I have a little while before I need this!
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FZJ80 - 37's, lifted, locked, geared, dented
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